Sauce

This dish is best served amongst friends, and washed down with a cool white wine. Start with a large bowl and add a few local DJs, rinse off several groupies and place them on the side for moral support. Grate in two cups of house with a garnish of breaks and stir vigorously, ensuring your hips move with each stir to enhance the flavor.

Place them in the oven then proceed to get baked for the following several hours. During this time, the chef is encouraged to mingle with customers and probe for their choice of garnish and phone numbers where appropriate. It is not uncommon to lose sense of time and place during the cooking process, but the chef will know when the time is to pullout and move on to the next stage.

Of course, for that finishing touch, coat the entire dish in Syrup, one of the finest of Saturday night sauces. The Syrup should be warm, colourful and always enticing to the five senses. When applied, the Syrup will infuse the shiznit with the hizzle, which is a gourmet term only used among the finest of chefs when cooking a dish of such caliber.

Be sure to supply enough for everyone as over time, people will always come for second or third helpings, such is its appeal. And there you have it; another Saturday night special, the Dirty Fucking Dancing Soufflé with Syrup. Oh, that is tasty.

FELIX BLACKLER