Sauce

“Oh, Mark? Hello Mark. Zis is Germany calling – are you vhere?” Mark stumbles of his perch and pushes past his mass of accumulated bass and Lonely Planet guides.
“Germany! I was just thinking about you. Let me just put some pants on … *zip* Ah, much better. What’s happening?”
“Mark, it is just vunderful out here in the hinterland, and me and Irma think you should visit. You vill love it here Mark, ve have some great places to party, und very nice beer and let’s not forget our hardcore porn … oh, how you love our porn Mark”.

Mark dives on the couch, staring at his much loved porn collection … “You know Germany, I could use with a change; a new perspective … something to take my career to that next level … I think I’ll take up your offer and come for a little German Excursion”.
“Oh, an excursion! Now that sounds fun. Will you need to say goodbye first?” Mark stops in front of Ministry Of Ass – The Oral; one of his all-time favourite pornos, and realises he will have to farewell his friends and fans with a final send-off. How can he leave without saying goodbye? Mark hangs up to start his rounds.

Loaded with toxic levels of heavy house, fuelled by some funk and party bags of love, Mark makes his way to all his favourite places and gives them a true farewell. Loaded with prospects, a bottle of Absinthe, and his porn collection, Mark walked out into the shadows (cos that’s “arty” like the Germans would do), and into the bright lights of Berlin, knowing he will not be forgotten.

FELIX BLACKLER